Question 9!
Is there an overall message you'd like to leave your readers with after sharing your life/feelings/thoughts over the last 15 months?  I wish I could bring this to some clichéd and glib ending. Something like “you can find what you want!” Eh, maybe not. I guess the simple thing is this. Over the past 15 months I spent a lot of time seeking things. Heavier scenes, better sex, wilder lifestyles, and a better life.  None of which was really defined in my head. I would say I lucked out in finding my Sirs…but there’s more to it than that. Some guys want to find A Sir.  Anyone to fill some perceived void, other shy away from the notion, preferring equality. I never meditated on it really, just jerked off to what I thought was hot.  Okay! I got it. Relationships are relationships. None fake, none stupid, none that are ever more or less than what they are.  I didn’t imagine having Sirs would be like this, nor did I really imagine having Sirs plural. The biggest thing I’ve learned from exposing my life is how every relationship I have (friends, hookups, other) is primarily defined by our choices for interaction. None of that makes sense.  I choose sex for a long while, and reading over some of my previous entries I feel sort of foolish. I’ve forgotten a lot of their names (the hookups, not the friends), and it’s shameful to blow off people to blow people. I think we all put too much focus on sex, online has done that more to the leather community than anything else.  We find sex partners when we need companions or we find boyfriends when we need friends.  Maybe it’s because of Leather weekends that we feel an urgency to be whipped, or maybe it’s because everyone is so mobile that local communities fall apart. I don’t know. I’ve learned that you can’t change the actions of the world at large, but you can keep your eyes open.  Most of what you want is near you. I’ve got a really great community of leather in new york. It consists of some great guys that I know.  it’s just smaller than most. None of that makes sense either. Who are all those people?
- posted by G @ 11:58 PM