What happens when we die?
I loathe questions that I can’t answer with any certainty. I like believing in god, I like the idea that magic exist. I don’t want to live for no other reason than science. Tonight I heard an argument that it was harder to believe in G*d than not, and then heard that being an atheist was harder. I don’t think the two are comparable. If you choose to think that G*d is up there…then you choose to think that maybe, just maybe, your living your life wrong. That what your doing right now is against him. Not specifically homosexuality or anything like that…but believing in a higher power means that you accept that there is a path you are meant to follow. And not following this path subjects you to the wrath of higher power. If you choose to believe that nothing exists, then are your choosing the idea that everything you do, beyond it’s affect on those you know and those they know is temporary. That you are temporary, that even if you create a better future 200 years down the road, you won’t be there, not in spirit, not in anything, your corpse will be worm food and nothing more of you will exist. But you get to wake up, and not worry about eternal damnation. And let’s face it, not existing is a lot better than an eternity of fire doom. But I disagree with both sides of the first argument. The toughest way to be is where I am now. It’s the in-between, the in-between is always the toughest. No one embraces the in betweeners. People who dance on the edge live the toughest lives. I know this, Girlfag, it’s why I respect and honor you so much. Conc claims to be Bi, and it astounds me the number of times he hears “no, your gay” or “no, your timid” and maybe he is. But maybe he wouldn’t be if we all didn’t pressure people to pick a side. Sun is rising. And it’s funny, the most beautiful part of the day is the sunrise sometimes, when the sun is half up, half down. Sigh…maybe we want people to pick a side so that we pick one ourselves. There’s this song about a tree that wants to be a book. So it dies and becomes one. I feel like a tweener. I don’t want to pick anything, but the time comes when I will, I like being embraced to much. One day I’ll tell everyone about G*d, or I’ll tell everyone about how there isn’t one. Certainty, we all seek it. We want to know our relationships are good, we want to be certain that college will take us were we want to be, we want to be sure that were we want to be is were we are supposed to be. And we want it to be sure. Ever want it all? Are you certain? In Judaism G*d has a name. And if you say it correctly, you get struck by lightning. I have a friend who used to say it Hebrew school, just to see if it would happen. “If knowing that he’s up there kills me, well I am certain that would be worth it.” Yes i'm young, but i have aged.
- posted by G @ 5:40 AM