Love, soon.
It’s funny, isn’t it? I don’t think any other word is viewed with the affection and fear that love is. I know so many people who want to be “in love” or “find love,” I don’t understand that. Actually, I do, in that I think we all have a desire to find someone. However, love takes a lot of work and causes more heartache than it fixes. But so many of us forget that relationships are a two way street, no matter what you are in the relationship (slave, boy, Sir, Daddy, etc.). And that’s what gets me about people who go boyfriend hunting. No one fits into a persons life easily. You have to make time, and that means less time for your other friends, but you weigh the options and you choose. If your searching for a boyfriend or someone else to play significant other, well, I just don’t think it happens. It has to move on its own wave length. I know I tend to be a bit dramatic. so forgive me when I put these thoughts out. I love my Sirs, they are just so good, and so wonderful. Not all the time, and they aren’t perfect, but they are what I want. It’s strange, re-reading a lot of what I put as I was getting to know them, I didn’t want to admit how much I desired that. And I guess I forget sometimes that I still do. 6 months of knowing them, 3 of them as my Sirs, it’s like they’ve been around forever. I like that feeling. However, they fit so easily into my head that I sort of needed to remind myself that they don’t fit as easily into my life. I need to set aside weekends, and yes, that means I don’t have as much time for other people in my life…but I am a better person because of my Sirs. And I know that. I have sort of come to terms with it. I can’t have it all, but I can have most of it. And man do I have most of it. I got up there (Boston from NYC) on Thursday night. They congratulated me on doing well on my math midterm (95!). They held me a bit, and we watched some TV, they fed me some chicken, and then we hung out for a bit before bed time. Friday was marvelous; it started off with my Sirs inviting me to spend some time in their bed. I love it when I get a chance to be in between them, I’m so thankful for those moments. It’s just feeling their warmth pressed against me. And then they started doing something wonderful, they jerked me off! Sir explained that it was because of my good grade (note to self: become A student). Anyway, Daddybear was playing with my (Their) hole, and Sir had his hand on my cock. I was licking Sir, and feeling Daddybear’s finger inside me. Suffice to say that I shot a nice load. Then they called in sick to work! So I got an extra day with them (really with them, not them at work, but them at home!). We walked around Boston (it’s growing on me a little). They needed to get some things so we rode the T and went to this Mall. While we were there, Sir and Daddybear held hands for a bit wandering around as I followed behind them. It’s fun to see them act all couple-ish, just nice to see. On the walk home we threw snowballs at each-other. It was so fun. When we got back we hung around for a bit, but Sir and Daddybear’s friends were coming over so we couldn’t do much. Daddybear did fuck me though, which I am starting to really like. Feeling him inside me, the pain of it with the mix mmmm, so nice. Saturday was cool too! After Friday we slept in just a little bit. It was a mostly lazy Day, I got some studying done, learned how to make fajitas (well, watched Sir make them). But Sir and I did play, which was great. Sir and I tend not to get as much alone time as I would like. He’s busy a lot and has another boy so I understand that. But, when he has time and we can hang out alone it’s nice. After watching him make fajitas, and finishing my studying, Sir told me to put on my boots. I complied and followed him to the bed room. He tied me up with me laying stomach down. We did hot wax at first…which I just don’t like it turns out. Sir wanted to be sure that the scene He and Daddybear did was not the reason for my reaction to it. I just don’t like it though. Hot wax feels (to me) like I am having an allergic reaction. It’s not painful or anything, just itchy. Sir switched over to using his hands and his floggers. He would whisper “good boy” when I focused on my breathing. It was a good scene, I think, I haven’t had any marks from my Sirs yet which is upsetting, but each scene gets better, and I am getting better. After the scene Sir held me a bit. I’ve been holding back on saying “I love you” to my Sirs, as I wasn’t sure if it bothered them, and I know they know I do. Sirs hand was resting in between my cheeks, rubbing my (His) hole slightly. He commented how I become a big kitten whenever someone touches it (hehe, yes). I would love to just sleep with one of them inside me someday, it’s so comforting in a way I can’t yet explain. I just love them, I really do. Sir also said he knew it was hard not to hear “I love you” back. And, it truth it’s not, not with them… I know they care about me and, this may sound weird, but I feel like it’s only a matter of time before they love me back. And even if they never do, I know I’m important to them, and that’s what counts. That night we played a game with some more of Sir and Daddybear’s friends and Sir’s other boy. He’s not collared by Sir, or under consideration as far as I know, but he is important to Sir and a nice guy too. It was a cool evening. Daddybear wanted to fuck me that night…but Sir had played with my hole a bit and I wanted to be sure that it was okay, so I asked him if we could do it on Sunday. Sir pointed out it was lame excuse, throwing me over the couch to inspect my (Their) hole (purr). And, in truth it was, I’m being over protective of that body part, and I need to start trusting my Sirs to handle it. Daddybear and I did fool around that night, though (woohoo!). He got me so turned on I was begging for him to fuck me…but we didn’t really have time for the prep work (Sir recommends not eating a couple hours before if I think I might be doing that). After play I told some of my fantasies to Daddybear. I like it when they say possessive things to me. Like: “that’s My good boy” and the like, but I kind of want it dirtier…like: “yeah, that’s My good little play thing” or “yeah, put out for me My fuck toy” or “cum for Me, My slut boy.” Things of that nature. And I spoke about some other fantasies too… Sunday was nice too though… We all just hung out, Sir made lasagna. Then we saw the movie “Dawn of the dead” it was late night, and man…I am such a scaredy-cat about that stuff. I couldn’t sleep so I asked to spend the night in Sir and Daddybear’s bed. They let me, and it was nice, but not the same as being asked there. I really do like it when I earn stuff. Oh and I spoke with Girlfag on the phone! Smart, nifty, and all around good person. She liked my quote “to sleep, perchance to dream, perchance to mess with reality”
- posted by G @ 12:38 AM