MALleable
Sigh… I am at MAL. It is so strange to be in this other city with my SIRs. Okay so let’s get into what has been going on: My work week had been so hectic that I didn’t get to trim my hair and beard the way I wanted to. Oh well, I am hoping to find someone in the hotel to do that for me. My bus came in at 12:50, but I got lost on the metro and while I was walking to the hotel… so I didn’t arrive until about 1:40. I came into the hotel lobby and immediately kneeled at Sir’s and Daddybear’s feet (they were waiting for me there). We waited there for about a minute just reconnecting through the touching. Then we went upstairs to the room. I threw my stuff down and got naked, Sir and Daddybear undressed and we all layed down in bed. They cuddled me, held me. It was so fantastic, that part feels just so fantastic. We then hung out in the hotel lobby, went out to dinner with friends of Sir and Daddybear. I would give more details. But they aren’t where my head is at this moment. I realized something this weekend. I know a lot of people, not just online folk, but also in person. And it seems that my list of play partners reads well, which I knew already. But I finally figured out why: I go for it. A lot of people can’t seem to say “I want to play with you” I can. It’s nothing special, nothing intense. And I still have some thinking to do on that subject, but I think that’s it. I put myself out there for rejection or acceptance when it comes to hooking up. So, realizing this…last night I let my mouth run off. STUPID ME. Nothings really changed because of it. Sir was asleep, so Daddybear and I were on the next bed, playing around. He began to fuck me, and then I let it slip. “I think I am falling in love with you, both of you Daddybear.” What? I barely know these two. Well not barely, but in terms of time and stuff, it’s only been 2 weeks since I got my collar. There is so much to figure out. So much to think about. It’s all rather daunting… I don’t think I can form words for it. But yeah, I am falling in love with them. How does one fall in love with two men at once? Sir wants to be sure I know that they are not boyfriends. I know they aren’t, and I don’t think I want one…but then again. I didn’t think I wanted Sirs either. Well, not true. But I didn’t plan on having them. I need to think…but there is this guy across from me at the coffee shop. He is knitting, and making eyes at me. He is young, probably non-leather. I don’t think I will have an effective blog till I am on my way home. And have some long alone time. I don’t think I want to fall in love yet. It might fuck things up for me. But maybe its time things got fucked up.
- posted by G @ 6:27 PM