How do you want to die?
“there’s no can really be free, everybody’s watching” Fefe Dobson As homosexuals you need to plan your death young. Let me fix that…as kinky homosexuals, in general, you need to plan your death young. Not that you are going to die young, but you are not going to have children to take care of you. So, you have to plan your retirement, your life after you can’t work. Do you want to be in a retirement home? Do you want be resuscitated? These are things you have to think about. Tonight me and Leo went for coffee. And wound up in Chinese restaurant. We both wanted to talk a lot, and since he is leaving for italy on Thursday (he is a latin major), I decided Chinese was a good thing for him to remember when he is in the sunny Catholicism of Italy. Anyway, we get to talking. You see, Leo came out at 17, and still hasn’t kissed a boy at 21. He is gay in heart but, not in experience, yet. His parents were fine with it but he hasn’t met the right guy. He is waiting for it, I see it in his eyes. I’m not it, don’t want to be. Though I will admit a sick desire to crush his tiny heart, see it heal and grow bigger from it. But we are chatting, he is smart, incredibly smart. It explains why he hasn’t gotten laid. He hasn’t figured out how to turn it off yet. Ever start at conversation with a guy in a bar, and he uses too big a word, or refers to a book of poems? Yeah, that’s Leo. Intelligence is sexy, but only when it’s controlled. Unbridled intelligence is scary, makes me think science dork. So I am talking to him, dropping help where I can. Then he makes this statement about AIDS. “It’s just proof that no one really wants us around. They still don’t, all this talk about African aids crisis…it is all because they are straight.” It’s true. They don’t want us around. We cheapen their marriages, we make them question god, we fuck up their relationships. Bottom line, we make them think. As our numbers grow, explanations have to be made for why a woman is now a man. Why a man can kiss another man. Sex is no longer about the act of sex. Ever bring up religion at a table of straight married folk? One of them always gets angry (if you are in the suburbs, city rules differ). I believe most people don’t like to think too much. I believe being gay makes one have to think. The unhappy gay men I know, the really unhappy ones, are the ones who don’t think about what being gay means. You have to, you have to keep thinking. Re-examining, exploring. So basically, the world doesn’t like to think, and gay people make them think. So, they don’t like gay people That’s why the quote at the opener of this thing. Fefe is a pop-rock girl, a Swedish made popstar with a rock band backing her up (like Avril). The line is true to a certain extent. I wrote a couple days ago that being into leather made you a member of the leather community. Same is true of being a homosexual. You are part of the gay community. Everybody is watching, so you have to make a choice. You can live your life the way you want, or you can let that stuff effect you. Me? I like public sex.
- posted by G @ 1:13 AM