Reality
So here i sit, naked, in socks (hiked up the way Daddybear likes), typing out a blog. The idea of being owned is so intoxicating, not just being owned, but whom my owners would be. But it is also a relationship. and more to the point it is me entering a well established relationship (the one that Sir and Daddybear already have). And it means making sacrifices. It means giving certain things up. It also means rewards, and bonuses, and closeness. And here is the thing, I want to come back here, I want to be at thier feet. This whole time that is something i know. But then the word relationship comes up and i start to freak out. Sir said to me this morning "at some point the game ends" and then this relationship begins. But it's strange. They are not going to be my boyfriends. We are not going to be going out with all my younger friends and hanging out at some movie. They are not going to meet my parents, or hang out at Alli's house when she throws a party. They will remain in boston where i will visit them, as their boy. and thats fine with me, its not something i need right now. one of the perils of liking older men is dealing with the fact you are going be a little disadvantaged when it comes to mutual hangouts. I like the idea of being their's. I like when it is practiced on me, when they act it out, when they claim me. But can i give up on running around? And what do i do about my other commitments: April 29, visit to Dallas for play Plans to go to SF for spring break. the 2 hours with HOSS 2.5 hours at MAL... I have to honor them still, right? Not to mention i am slutty, I like kissing, I like hooking up, it's going to be weird to have to refer a person to SIR. But fun too. Lots of questions. I need answers. but i think i have to wait for them.
- posted by G @ 2:58 PM