mine
So, where do i begin? It was on saturday afternoon when Daddybear, Sir, and I discussed the possibility of full time ownership. I want to go for it, they want to go for it. And that was that, decision made. Sir is my Sir, Daddybear is my Daddybear, and am their boy. At least, if it all works out I will be. I am not owned yet, the termonology is "under consideration for ownership." But that hasn't stopped dirty talk (hot filthy naughty dirty talk). "Yeah, thats my and Daddybear's hole, boy." So what the hell does this mean? I don't know exactly...they are going to start taking control of different aspects of my life. I will be asking permision to play, I will be discussing major changes with them. I am not allowed to get fucked by anyone else (i call that geographical monogamy, you pick a spot on the body and only use it with your partner, or in this case, owners). there is a lot we have to discuss, a lot that has to be worked out. They have never owned a boy before, i have never been owned before. So we have to figure out the rules, and we have to consider the distance between me and them (boston vs my lovely city of new york). It's funny, I never really think about relationships. I don't get up in the morning feeling like there is anything major lacking in my life. I don't have nights where i stay up late lamenting the lack of a lover to share my life with. Sex and friendship occupy two very different spaces in my head. Agreeing to this sort of a thing is testing that. Now, i also will probably be reminded that i had a boyfriend (VJ!). So it's not like this is the first time i am doing this...but, it is in a way. I loved VJ, still care about him, but it wasn't the closest of relationships, I can admit that. It boiled down to a sort of...summer fling. But as I prep to enter this new relationship...i can't help but look back at it. I screwed it up, neglected it, put the relationship second to fun. We also weren't compatible when it came to our views on leather. He didn't like the protocol of it, and was critical of the boy/Sir "thing" as he called it. It made it hard for me to be open about what i wanted to try since i knew his views on it all. But there were also standard relationship issues, he is a home body, there was jealousy, and all that other stuff. So it ended, partially because of college, partially because i was ready to move on. and now? Well, i am feeling a lot of things so i am going to break them down into 3 seperate posts. Joy Worry reality.
- posted by G @ 1:13 PM