School!
Okay, So I am better, back in NYC, and feeling good (still sick), but no longer feeling like I am. The best part about not feeling sick, is masturbating. That joyous moment of release from illness where you feel like you can touch yourself again. But back to school, work, and social life. Okay, I am freaking out about math, as I was sick I missed a week of classes, and I have a test next Monday, I cannot afford to do poorly in this class, so I need to start some serious craming. Next is Economics, long a thorn in my side I need to make the teach like me more and start showing up on time. The rest of my courses I am all set for. Chicago! I am there in January, providing I can get a cheap ticket from Price line (sub 140) and a hotel about the same. I am breaking in my new credit card with this purchase ( I plan to cut the old one up soon), which means cash back! Sigh, I really, really, really hope I like it there. NYC is pretty fucking cool, but I feel this need to spread my wings and travel elsewhere. I need new, which is my ultimate problem, I always want new. So I am going to spank this boy, he hasn’t cum since Halloween ( he was gonna cum on Thursday, but I got sick, so he has to wait till Wednesday). I have a few potential tops in the area, but I am REALLY wanted to go to Daddybear and Sir in Boston. Never met them, but December 12 I am going to be playing makeup. Sigh, I can’t figure out what I want, I am still trying to maintain my life here while fantasizing about life elsewhere. But such is life I think, at some point though I am going to have to choose. Oh! Specs and I are chatting fairly regularly. Which is good, but weird, I want to beat him, I want him to beat me, I can’t place his desires (beyond making lewd suggestions). I need to learn patience (and linear thought processes). I am playing with ownership (that’s not a nickname). In my head I have been fiddling with the idea. I still don’t see myself being owned, but, at the same time… I have been referring to myself as “your hamster” during chats with special K (he may be annoyed by this). The idea being a hamster doesn’t do much other than eat, and get petted. So I have no real responsibility. It sort of fits with my current MO of not wanting, but wanting it. Ahh well, these things work out.
- posted by G @ 2:45 PM