Death and Turkey.
My grandmother is dying I have known for awhile, she is old (92). She recently went alzheimerific, so we moved her to a rest home. I can’t see her, I sort of want to, but it’s not like she’ll remember me, so why bother depressing myself? She used to live in VA, in this nice house near the beach, we would visit, I would kiss her on her wrinkled cheek and spend the rest of the trip avoiding her. She was always nice, but had this tendency to talk a lot about granddad. All I know about him is he used to smoke a pipe (I am thinking of asking for one, for leathersex purposes). His ashes are now in our house, waiting to buried next to my grandmother when she dies. It’s fucked up, my family traded stories about her over turkey. Everyone was pretending like she recognized them. Everyone that is, except dear old rob (my favorite for the things). “she don’t remember sh…anything.” I like rob in that he doesn’t believe in codling, he just spurts it out (sort of like me, but he has a filter for what he can and can’t say). I miss my childhood on nights like this, I can’t sleep here. I want to go back to school, knock on sue’s door, beg her to walk around with me. But I want a family like I see on television, or at alli’s house. it’s not that mine gets into any huge fights. There is no, angry outbursts, tearful screams. But, there’s also no laughter, no old stories about misbegotten adventures, old vacations. In comparison to recent events in my life, it’s very…cold, calculated. I traded cell numbers with my younger brother (the 12 y/o, yeah he has a cell phone), told him to call me if he needed me. He used to tell me he wanted whipped cream with his pumpkin pie (gotta love text messaging). I see myself in him, that wasn’t there before. We sat down from 6pm to 7pm (is that the normal amount of time?). Then we broke off into sections, I watched “friends” with my sister. Later, I went out and saw Lindsey, she had a rough night. Her parents (54y/o father/32 y/o stepmother) decided to take a vacation to some island, so she is staying with friends. She is English born, so the holiday is that important to her family, but her father’s still a dick.
- posted by G @ 2:16 AM