Woohoo Okay, when I top, I have all sorts of anxiety. I don’t get shaky or nothing, but I have the overwhelming urge to stop and ask the bottom “hey, am I doing alright, cause you can tell me if I am not.” But, for the most part, I don’t do that, (though I once kinda frekad out cause the guy yelled ow!) So, last night, I did fire play, wax play, light flogging, bondage, and ass play (really light). Fireplay was fun, I had him jerk off while I was dripping wax all over him. Oh! And got to use my casting stuff which is fun as all hell. In something unrelated to that news, I went to a bar too see S&M (two hot guys who I want to play with more). I was so horny in the bar I wound up humping S’s leg a little. We kissed a bunch and talked shop. I was all set too give up a lot more control until I got a call today. S cancelled (of the two I talk to him the most), but more than cancelled, he sort of cancelled any future plans and returned cum control. So I am going to e-mail him and ask “what’s up?” I don’t mind when things end, but I like stuff to be concrete. I have a piss poor social IQ about this stuff so I can’t really read people. Which is why, on the occasion when I get blown off I tend to get nervous about why, and wonder if I missed something. Me and VJ keep talking, but it’s so draining sometimes that I keep postulating the merits of trying to be friends with him. He’s pissed at me, and as I keep reviewing some of my old blogs, I think he has a right to be. When you call someone your boyfriend, they come first, and I don’t think I am capable of that yet. So I gotta say sorry, and leave it at that. One more thing! Sue and I saw KILL BILL, and while I don’t delude myself that like more than 4 people read this thing with any regularity (but those 4 kick ass), I want anyone who does to SEE THAT MOVIE. It’s just so good, when I saw the matrix, all I thought was “cool, but where is the gore” Although kill bill doesn’t have the huge CG effects that the matrix does, it delivers. Bloody, violent, good talking, and all the fat cut out (oh and it has a plot that rules). Nothing left here, I am gonna go out tonight, and meet some stranger, I plan to low my wad in style (it has been a week, after all).
- posted by G @ 10:59 PM