So, I met someone last night who I met years ago, when I was 16. He was 29 at the time and I kind of count him as my first s/m role model. Which is weird, but when I met him he was the only real s/m guy I knew. At the time a friend of mine knew him and introduced me by a fluke. The odd thing is that meeting him helped me to realize that I could be kinky and lead a relatively normal lifestyle. I mean he has this huge impact on my life in a matter of hours, and didn’t remember me at all, which makes sense, but it got me thinking… I wonder if I will ever have that effect. It’s strange to think that, a while back, someone mentioned they had heard of me from a friend. And this is someone who lives in Ohio hearing about me. I mean it was nothing more than “oh yeah, he said some 19 y/o was up and coming..” but it’s weird that I’m even thought of that way. Weird is all, but no one can predict how they effect another’s life. Anyway, I would on my knees behind the ghetto of a bar known as Chetty’s but had to head home cause Tim wasn’t having fun. There is a certain amount of pleasure in blowing one of your legends, and then finding he emailed you. Even if it kills the fantasy I had of him, I accept that reality is never less fun then the fantasy, but it has more restrictions. Mind you I just spent 6 hours w/ Vj, (so much fun to be with). So all is good either way, no matter how bad a scene it could be, I know he is there if I come limping back to him, and I plan to return to him. Whatever that means. On a weird note, my college waitlisted me for housing, so I may have my own apartment instead of a dorm room, which would be cool in a lot of ways. But I am kind of done with hanging out with adults. (the average age of my friends is 24) I want to be a kid again, or at least surrounded by more of my age group. Sigh, no real worries yet, if need be I can get a cheap place and just move out early, support myself during the summers with my EMS gig, and use my savings to deal with school. But I would get a better “college-y” experience by doing a dorm think. Like everything whichever happens it’s a matter of focusing on the pro’s and con’s of the situations.
- posted by G @ 3:13 AM